Courage, a cliche word that is spoken by many but truly understood by few. Courage transforms ordinary people into singers, authors, doctors and much more. It is something that pushes us far beyond our comfort zone and gets us to act in ways that are considered scary, unexpected and sometimes even dangerous. One such individual that possessed no small amount of courage was Anaïs Nin, a French author who spent most of her life in the US. Nin was first known for her writing on Erotic stories which were considered taboo at the time. However, after only marginal success and recognition, it was not until her diaries were published that gained her literary significance she is known for today. Nin’s diaries revolved around her personal experiences with friends and acquaintances during the second world war. It was in her third diary written between 1939-44 where she wrote the quote,“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” .
What Is The Meaning Of The Quote?
We can work out that the shrinking and expanding of life refers to our experiences. That we can choose to have a limited or limitless experience depending on the amount of courage we have.
However, some people thought it is unclear who Nin wrote the quote for. She placed it as a separate sentence in between two significant events. One was her friend Robert who escaped from the army. Robert returned to New York seeking for a place to stay and so ended up living with another friend Virginia. Virginia must have had felt intimacy towards Robert yet the latter was believed to be homosexual.
The second event is Nin’s thoughts on the ongoing war. There is despair and longing for hope in her tone. She even ended the paragraph with the line – “Are we needed in this world, can we create a new world here?”
Who was the quote for? For Robert to find courage and accept himself? For Virginia to find love again? Or For Nin herself to accept that the world she is in is forever changed with or without her?
Finding Courage
While most of us are no longer sent to wars, we are still and will always be in need of courage. Courage to quit your job of 10 years and venture on to something new. The courage to move to another country which language you know nothing of. And the courage to just wake up in the morning unsure of what the day will bring. Courage opens possibilities and opportunities one can only imagine.
Let’s take a look at the five A’s on how we can discover and master our courage:
- Acknowledge fear
- Avoid the fear-mongers.
- Ask the right questions.
- Acquire rituals.
- Accept the consequences.
Sometimes fear has physical manifestations like tight chest, headaches, or clenched jaw. These are all part of human natural response to danger. Famous musicians like Barbara Streisand still get stage fright. Based on studies, by attending to those physical manifestations and understanding that fear causes them, our brains can make us think and respond smarter.
These are the people who question your decisions and will list all the negative consequences they think you will experience. Say, you decided to work freelance but your “friends” talked you out of it and insisted on the benefits you can get from a regular work. You followed their advice but now you regretted. You surely got benefits but the mental stress cannot be compensated.
When facing with impossibilities, we normally think of worst cases scenarios and cloud our minds with what ifs. So, get hold of yourself and ask the opposite, the more affirmative ones – what could be the better way? How can this positively impact my life? What should I simplify? What could go right? Take control of your thoughts and refocus your mind to things that you can do, and what you cannot.
Our everyday habits contribute to every aspect of our life. Meditations, exercise, reading, other relaxation techniques, and even music can strengthen your self-certainty. Some people do journaling to help clear their minds from the things they cannot express in spoken words. Remember that, when you are certain about taking action and have a clear mind, you become braver.
Keep in mind that no matter how we make good and right decisions they don’t always yield positive results. But don’t let that reality confine you in your comfort zone. Understand that the courage you are building is to help you take risk and overcome the setbacks which comes with it.
Seizing Opportunities
Once you have mustered your courage, it is now time to act upon opportunity. Indeed, there are endless opportunities in life but we will never know when they knock. So, if you have one now, seize it by either taking control or preparing for it in advance.
Taking control
As mentioned, one way to find courage is to take control of our thoughts. However, we don’t seek to control our circumstances. The moment we do so, not only do we limit our experiences but we also suppress our personal growth.
Suppose, are you offered a promotion that you have been hoping for but the responsibilities are somehow overwhelming? How about a scholarship grant that requires you to move away and maintain excellent marks? Perhaps winning an all-expense-paid-first-international-but-solo trip?
You have two choices in this type of circumstances, either control your fearful thoughts and seize the opportunity or step back and negotiate to lessen the risk, this way you might miss out on some activities however building up courage is a long process which requires you take small steps one day at a time. Hence, dont push yourself too far, take the right control.
Preparation is key
To some of you waiting for opportunity to appear, remember that now is the time to prepare. You want to work abroad? Research the job market, the country, and what’s at stake. You want to join a speech contest? Learn the tips on public speaking and practice. You want to switch from being an accountant to being a pastry chef? Study and invest your time into practice.
The moment an opportunity is laid in front of you, you would know for sure that you are ready. No more thinking twice.
To sum it all, remember, life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.